Mistakes & Past Lovers

I found love in all my mistakes and irrelevant details of past lovers.

Imagine all the little things you loved in all those people

sharing one single soul,

one smile,

one laugh,

one love.

Would you believe it?

I never had a chance not to believe,
it was him and this was US.

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We Had Love All Along

I traveled 1200 Miles for love
but, had it all along.
 
I thought I could throw my hands up to surrender
as if he would save the fall.
 
love can’t be found because it can’t be lost.
You had it all along.

New Love

New Love

Too many times new love
is plagued by heartbreak.

Remember, Darling, you must
love with your heart full.

Smile like you’ve never
had a reason to frown.

Just because old love left
doesn’t mean new love will follow.

Guide your love to the finish line
not the exit.

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Love Dressed Up

Love dressed up with sweet kisses, late night talks when I couldn’t sleep, and a bowtie.

Love stayed after judgment, questions, and far too much rose.

Love remains as more than a single word, but a universe of conversations written into songs on repeat

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Don’t settle

“But, one day it hits you and suddenly you realize that you don’t have to walk where the rain is falling…”

I told myself that you were the one I’d settle for. Because at 26 you forget that the sunflowers smile and you’ve already come to terms with the rain coming every night. We have prepped for this and our rainboots are brand new and our jacket is Chanel.

“All because you decided you aren’t going to settle”

But, one day it hits you and suddenly you realize that you don’t have to walk where the rain is falling and the flowers are just delightful and you wonder how your thoughts ever became so strayed in the first place.

Because, you remember that love is this beautiful thoughtless, array of perfect and imperfect memories just for you and another to share. That love consists of late nights, little talks, sweet secrets and kisses when you can’t sleep. All because you decided you aren’t going to settle for the one who made settling sound so rash.

“It’s Not Yours”

I’ve had sweet that’s turned bitter and passion turn into manic behavior. I’ve had my world taken away from me with the only reason being “it’s not yours”.

I’ve fallen for the same man in different people and questioned the same outcome as if I didn’t see it coming. My dear, I’m not worried about falling in love; I’m worried about losing it.

My dear, I’m not worried about falling in love; I’m worried about losing it.

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“He Told Me The Flowers Didn’t Laugh”

He told me the rain couldn’t bloom and the flowers didn’t laugh.

                              I Don’t Believe.

That love was a list of things I’d check off as the days and months went by.

I didn’t know what was worse the fact he believed in his words or that I believed them as well.

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“Be Everything But Sad”

Some nights I go to sleep excited for the new day that lies ahead.

And then morning comes and that pit is still there, the sun is still down and I’ve still got no will.

 

“Be Everything But Sad”

Those are the days you need to power through.

Blast your music.

Roll your eyes at the cars going too slow.

Be everything but sad.

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“When I’m not with you”

You know that feeling you get in your chest when something bad happens?

                                                                                 “…So selfish and unforgiving”

It kind of sorta feels like it’s coming from your stomach. Wait, your heart, and it moves through your body starting with your arms…and it doesn’t quite hurt but, it aches. When I’m not with you that’s what it feels like.

And I’ve tried to train my self that time alone will make it stop because God knows no man is allowed to have that kind of hold on me. God knows not again not anymore. I can’t handle another man’s grab. So selfish and unforgiving. Like a child who’s gone days without super.

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That Sober Smile

That smile,
That sober smile
Followed by your sober laugh seems to take up most of the space in my head.

That split second in the morning where the substances would have subsided by now from the night before was what I looked forward to day after day.

A face full of truth, a kiss full of you and I was ready to start any day.

It was remarkable the things you were capable of, the things you are capable of. If only you were full time sober.

“A face full of truth, a kiss full of you…”

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Ashamed

And sometimes the sun goes down, our clothes come off, and we don’t know how we got to this point but here we are.

Ashamed, yet craving a stranger’s touch of the unknown, undiscovered parts of ourselves.

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“I saw it in his eyes he wanted love, we both did.”

People are too quick to blame falling out of love on gas lighting.

Because in the beginning, we were full of dreams and plans and the kids behind the picket white fences.

I saw it in his eyes he wanted love, we both did.

And he never meant to fall short of our visions. We were both trying to be people we weren’t.

We saw love but unfortunately not in each other.

We need to stop blaming good people for believing true love exists even if it’s with someone else.